The Hunter Biden Shit Show
by Yours Truly
Before you dive into this rant, know that I do pray for our politicians. I pray that they rediscover their souls, that they stop treating us like pawns on a chessboard, and that they get professional mental help for their arrogance and hatred. Most importantly, I pray they stop buying their way into every little fabric of pleasure we still hold dear. Hunter Biden may be good at criminal enterprise, but he is no artist. Please stop trying to pass your paintings off as credible genius – it's insulting to the rest of us who actually reach for the stars...
I have to write this… for my sanity. In 2019, Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan sold a piece of art for $120,000 in Miami. His "art" – in my personal opinion – was nothing exceptional. In fact, I dare say it was not art at all… not in the traditional sense. It was more of an interesting publicity stunt than anything else. His brilliant piece of work was nothing more than a banana taped to a wall – purchased for fun by some dumbass couple with plenty of spare change in their pockets.
Needless to say, I was not impressed. To my knowledge, no part of that transaction went to any sort of charity. It simply existed as its own useless waste of potential, an act of stupidity cloaked in the expansive guise of art. To this day, I remain unimpressed. But who am I? Just another nobody peddling around on Instagram as an artist. I work 9 to 5 in the salt mines and hope to live long enough to see the ass end of retirement. Whatever spare time I can squeeze out of a day is usually dedicated to writing or being creative.
The last time this sort of thing happened… back in 2019… I had to let it go. I had to move on, to stop dwelling on things I had no control over. Besides, as an artist, I have my own creative ambitions to fulfill. I mostly dabble in painting and photography, but I'll be lucky if I ever see the good side of $100 for my work, let alone $120,000. I know how difficult it is, so I don't hold my breath on the hopes of greater glory. I just move forward knowing the game is rigged, that if you are wealthy, you can buy influence and representation.
The silver lining in this grand charade is that I can write much better than I can paint. I was able to express my full disgust for Cattelan's banana in a previous article: We're Still Primitives After All. For greater context, you can view that article right here in the Fractured section by clicking the red hyperlink. Truth be told, I never contemplated that there would be a lousy sequel to Primitives, but there is… and it's much worse than the original. Today, instead of tearing into an expensive faux banana, I am going to rip into the bastard son of our current American president, Mr. Hunter Biden.
You see, I have nothing personal against anyone who wants to try their hand at art. Some people are simply gifted. They pick up a brush and have a natural sixth sense about form, color, perspective, and lighting. Others have no clue, yet they are simply content in their misguided sense of adventure. They express in the abstract, and that's perfectly fine. Many find it quite therapeutic and discover parts of themselves that they never really knew existed. They can express their emotions and push the boundaries of what they perceive as real versus unreal. This is what makes art so precious, whether it is rigid traditional form or unchained abstraction. We can all tap into our souls to find what is missing, to rediscover what we may feel is broken.
This is precisely where Robert Hunter Biden enters the picture. Failed lawyer and second son of our current puppet-in-chief, Joe Biden, Hunter is now expressing himself through the good graces of art. Lovely. Everyone deserves a chance to set aside their devils to play with crayons and putty. Having already made a fortune off of his father's name through capital corruption and living a salty life of drugs and hardcore prostitution, Hunter is now free to pursue his place as one of the great artists in American history. I will admit that some of his works are colorful and unique, but it's nothing I haven't seen a thousand times over by abstract professionals posting on Instagram, most of whom can't even sell a few lousy prints, let alone a painting for $75,000 to $500,000. That's right, that is the active opening price range set for his nose-bleed expressions. What a croc!
Let's be honest, nothing Hunter Biden has ever created as an artist is worth $50. I feel badly for anyone with deep personal addictions, but this man is a scheming parasite whose very soul is morally bankrupt. I probably wouldn't take issue if his works didn't have such ridiculous prices attached, but what he's involved with now is simply a mockery. It is another publicity stunt, just like Cattelan's banana, and it is a complete embarrassment to the true creative community – real artists who serve their souls in pursuit of creative excellence.
Had the Marxist Tech Giants done their jobs and allowed the public to know some of the shady investment deals Hunter was involved with, this farce wouldn't be happening. In fact, his works may have instead gained curious notoriety among that special category of creeps, alongside Hitler's architecture and John Wayne Gacy's clown portraiture. That's not to say Hunter Biden is a mass murderer like those infamous thugs, but he will never be elected Pope of the universe. At present, there remains a ton of pending evidence suggesting ample jail time for Hunter Biden. His shady business deals in the Ukraine and China are still under investigation. Well… ample jail time for anyone who isn't the current president's son. How's that for white male privilege!
You see, this sort of thing aggravates me. I know thousands of artists who spend their years in the trenches. Some are simply trying to survive, to find a creative niche that they can pay their bills and feed their families… artists whose works are far superior and far more intellectually stimulating than anything Hunter Biden can sneeze out of his drug-filled nose. It pisses me off, yet I know the snotty elitist system will always facilitate money-making publicity stunts such as this. It's the worst part of the art industry, a flea circus rigged by political sycophants and pigs, rigged worse than any election in any third-world government on earth. It's disgusting.
Worst of all, Hunter Biden will more than likely find a buyer… because that's how the world works in 2021. Scumbags will always find a way. Cockroaches always survive a disaster. Yup. Some eccentric idiot will shill out $500K simply because his last name is Biden. Why not... He's already made millions off of the old man's name, already slept with his late brother's wife, and already has an autobiography to sweep away the loose crumbs of perception. The man is a crook, a liar, and deserves another softball interview on The View with Joy Behar.
Hunter Biden may be many things to many people, but a genuine artist he is not. Am I bitter and judgmental? Hell yhea. I've grown tired of the crapshoot existence for struggling artists. The system is rigged for those who have money. Period. The rest of us suck eggs on social media platforms. If I had enough spare change in my own pockets, I'd buy his work and burn it. That would be my publicity stunt. Why? Because I resent the game he's playing and everything within that sick political pyramid he's associated with.
There is a schlock industry out there that crushes the heart and soul for those of us who work hard and truly bleed art. It's a depressing reality that will never likely change. Money drives everything. With money, you can play in the big leagues. You can pretend you're talented and buy people to promote you. Without money, you tread water on crappy sites like Instagram or LinkedIn… just one of millions of artists hoping to be discovered. Don't hold your breath folks, it's pay to play. Without a fistful of capital to make things happen, you'll only become famous when you're dead…